Archive for the ‘Patients: News, Stories, and Comments’ Category

Janet Colm
CEO& President

It is perfectly normal to feel nervous talking with your partner about STDs.   Many people do! But don’t let that stop you.

Millions of people have to deal with STDs every year, you are not alone!

Here are some tips on how to get yourself talking with your partner

Get in the Know

Read up and know the facts.  This will help you feel more confident and you can help answer questions your partner might have.  Check out our website to learn.

Time it Right

Start the conversation when you have time and privacy and before things heat up.  Explain that this isn’t about trust, it is about the fact that STDs are really common and most people who have one, don’t know it.   All STDs, including HIV, are treatable and many are curable, so it’s better to know.

If you have an STD, it’s important to talk with your partner before you have sex- including oral sex.  It might help to have a pamphlet or information available to give them.

Take Charge

Don’t wait for your partner to bring up getting tested.  They may be nervous too and relieved that you bring it up.  You could try something like this, “I’m kind of nervous to put this out there, but I think it’s important that we go get tested together.”

Listen

After you’ve brought it up, listen.  If your partner doesn’t respond, ask them what they thing about getting tested.  If your partner is reluctant to get tested, encourage them and think it over, is this someone you really want to be in a relationship with. After all this is about health.  If your partner reveals they have an STD, be supportive and recognize their courage in sharing with you.  It is still important to get tested and while you’re there you can talk to the doctor about treatment and protecting yourself.

Planned Parenthood is proud to be apart of GYT Campaign, a part of It’s Your (Sex) Life, a long-standing public information partnership of MTV and the Kaiser Family Foundation, Center for Disease Control, Planned Parenthood, National Coalition of STD Directors and the American College Health Association.

April is Get Yourself Tested Month, Get Yourself Talking and Get Yourself Tested.

Once while working as an HCA at Planned Parenthood, I had an interesting experience with a patient who was around 19 weeks pregnant.  When I walked in, I saw a young woman in stunned silence in her chair. Soon she started to cry and told me that “the people at the other clinic I went to last week said I was only 12 weeks pregnant.” She went on to say that the staff at this “other clinic” told her that getting an abortion could increase her risk for breast cancer, give her post-traumatic stress disorder, and make her infertile. She was clearly very scared.

The moment she said all of this, I knew what exactly what had happened: she visited a crisis pregnancy center. I told her that although ultrasounds can be an approximation (possibly a few days off), there was no way that she was in her first trimester. I talked about the people who work at these centers, most posing as doctors or nurses, who date ultrasounds earlier to trick unsuspecting patients into thinking their pregnancy is earlier than it really is. By manipulating the pregnancy dating, it makes women think they have more time to decide about what to do about a pregnancy. These centers hope that these women will then run out of time and be unable to get a legal abortion in their state.

I wish I could tell you that this is a rare story I hear, but it isn’t. CPCs are places that exist solely for the purpose of deterring women from pursuing abortion procedures. Many are affiliated with religious organizations, few disclosing their relation, and they often lure women in with free pregnancy tests, ultrasounds and counseling. They usually place themselves near college campuses, lower income areas, and near abortion providers. Sometimes the staff makes the girls and women watch graphic videos depicting abortion procedures while waiting for the pregnancy test results, giving her brochures and pamphlets with false information about fetal development, birth control and abortion procedure side effects. They do not have to adhere to HIPAA compliant laws as medical offices do, so your contact information may be used as they wish. I once started the medication abortion video in a counseling room before I went over a patient’s paper work, and she started to scream: “Please don’t make me watch this! I don’t want to watch the video about Jesus and hell again!”

A crisis pregnancy center usually advertises with pictures of women crying or looking distressed on billboards and websites with phrases like, “Are you pregnant and scared?” On the phone or online they may evade questions you’re asking about abortion or say they only offer “positive” options. They may list reasons not to have an abortion citing evidence for depression in women who have abortions (which has been disproven). Some clinics are listed under “abortion alternatives” in their local yellow pages, but others, deceptively, list themselves under “abortion services.” If you or someone you know has visited a CPC, share your story in order to help law makers realize the damage CPCs are doing to women in your community.

Women deserve to be presented with accurate, unbiased, scientific medical information to make the most informed choices they can. When a woman is pregnant and asks for options at Planned Parenthood, you can guarantee she is presented with all of them: prenatal care, adoption, and abortion services. She deserves nothing less than the best care.

At Planned Parenthood, we are strong advocates for the rights of all lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people. Unfortunately, not all people are in our society.  As each generation passes, acceptance towards LGBT folks rises, but we still have a very long way to go.  Being a strong LGBT ally is vital towards achieving full equality. This means supporting policies that allow lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender people to equally enjoy the privileges that heterosexuals enjoy. But it also means supporting LGBT people in your day-to-day personal life.

Being out as LGBT has its challenges.  We all classify people to their sexual orientation whether we realize it or not. There is no denying that sexuality is a large part of our everyday lives. It affects who we spend time with, where we go, how we talk to one another, and how we dress.  It affects who we befriend, trust, and cry to when things get hard.  Yes, sexuality has to do with sex (who we have it with and who we want to have it with). But it also affects who we share our lives with and to what extent of information we share.

For example, every holiday, doctor’s visit, work day, and dinner out, I’m asked about who I’m dating. Not only am I asked about who I’m dating, I’m asked where my partner lives and works. And these questions are from people I don’t even know! 

These are ordinary things we know about friends’ boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives. So for those of you who can safely and comfortably talk about what I just described, try to imagine how it might feel if you were a LGBT person. You might avoid the question of “Where are you going this weekend?” among co-workers (keep in mind it’s still legal to fire someone for being lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender in 33 states-including North Carolina). Maybe you use the pronoun “they” instead of “he” or “she” when someone asks you who you’re interested in dating. Perhaps you want to with your doctor about having safe sex with your partner, but don’t feel comfortable discussing your sexuality with him or her. And maybe while everyone during the holidays takes their wife/girlfriend or husband/boyfriend to your parents, you were told that you were not allowed to bring your life partner. And while your friends and family shove wedding pictures in your face to look at, what do you say when they ask, “When are you getting married? We have to find someone for you! What are you waiting for?”

These are all too familiar situations that arise for lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender people. So the next time you hear someone say, “I’m ok with gay people, as long as they don’t flaunt their sexuality. Straight people don’t do all that!”, consider how much straight people “flaunt” their sexuality everyday.  As a good LGBT ally, you can provide a supportive environment for LGBT people to express their sexuality in the same ways that straight people take for granted everyday.

Sometimes when I need inspiration or to feel a deeper connection with our mission, I will look through our patient comment books we keep in our patient lounge.  Women write in these books after their abortion and the stories are diverse and moving.   I’ll share excerpts from four stories.

“Making this decision was very hard. I went back and forth about it, but now I know it was the right one because I have 2 wonderful babies already, but it’s really hard having to take care of them on my own.  Even though I’m married my husband is always in and out of the house because he’s in the army, but we both decided this was the right thing to do.”

“I’ve never believed in any kind of abortion, until my husband decided he didn’t want his family anymore and I tried to move on. I’ve been on birth control for three months and started dating someone new.  I didn’t expect to be one of that small % of women who get pregnant on the pill, but when I did, the man who told me he would love my two children and I forever just disappeared. This was and probably will always be the biggest and hardest choice I’ve ever made.”

“I am a 21 year old mother of one.  I was so scared to bring another life into this world unprepared… I know I was vulnerable to getting pregnant and thought I was being safe enough..but I wasn’t…I called in and it was very confidential.  Smiles from the entry door until my exit. I drove 3 hours (to get here) and every minute was worth it.  Thank you PPCNC!”

I am 21 yrs old with 2 wonderful boys.  I’m working and still struggle to take care of my children, my bills, and myself.  I decided to have an abortion because the sperm donor was married and failed to tell me after being together 5 months.  I had my breakdowns and flipped-flop about it(my decision), but here I am. 

Last Tuesday, MTV aired a special episode of its wildly popular TV show, “16 and Pregnant”.  The show typically follows a young woman (usually between 15 and 17) and her family and/or partner from about five months into an unplanned pregnancy to a few months after the baby’s birth. Two seasons in and almost every teenager on the show ends up has chosen to parent with just a handful of teens giving their babies up for adoption.

Up until now, the option of having an abortion had been completely missing from the show’s dialogue other than a few off-hand references here and there as to why that particular teen didn’t have an abortion. (Unfortunately the reasons often seem to be pressure from her family or partner.)

The fact is that at least one in four teen pregnancies end in abortion although exact numbers are hard to come by due to patient confidentiality and the social stigma attached to abortion. Some research puts the number closer to one-third. This being the case, an honest dialogue about choosing abortion is one that the show desperately needed to open after 25 episodes.

The full episode of “16 and Pregnant: No Easy Decision” special is available for viewing on-line and is well worth a half hour.

The episode follows Markai and her boyfriend, James, who were on this season of “16 and Pregnant”. On their original episode that aired last month, the decision was made to carry the pregnancy to term and become parents. Unfortunately, like 28% of North Carolina teens who experience repeat teen pregnancies, Markai became pregnant a second time when her daughter was just eight months old.

“No Easy Decision” follows Markai and James through their very emotional and difficult decision to have an abortion in order to give their daughter the life they want her to have. A panel discussion facilitated by Dr. Drew Pinsky (an MTV regular) introduces us to Katie and Natalia who both chose abortion for their own personal reasons that they share on the show. With them, we learn about the reasons for their decisions, the emotions they experienced afterward and why they felt the need to come forward.

Going in, I wasn’t sure what to expect but just hoped that the show would live up to its title and MTV would do a good job of dispelling the myth that abortion is a decision that women take lightly and with a cavalier attitude. I have to say that my expectations were exceeded.

The take home message was really one of personal choice, autonomy, love, and non-judgment. Each young woman made what she felt was the right decision for herself and her family. Some of the conversations felt a bit scripted at times but the deeply felt emotions on display were always honest.

I’ve not always been the biggest fan of MTV but I have to give them credit for addressing the issue of abortion in a real and honest way when no other network seems brave enough to do so. It is gratifying to see a messenger like MTV actively working to reduce the stigma and shame that surrounds abortion. In a country where one in three women will have an abortion in her lifetime, it’s high time that we were able to talk openly about it as a society.

Not surprisingly, anti-choice bloggers took issue with the episode’s very existence before it even aired claiming “false and dangerous contraceptive propaganda” on the show’s website among other things…. Ummm, what? Judge for yourself here http://www.itsyoursexlife.com/

This also means that these young women who bravely came forward may become targets for people who would prefer that women who choose abortion stay hidden and ashamed. The good news is that a website called “16 and Loved” has been set up for viewers to express their support and encouragement of these courageous women. Show your love at http://16andloved.com/ and be sure to watch the full episode!

During my time working at Planned Parenthood, I’ve probably heard every possible excuse not to use a condom.  But no excuse is good enough when your health is on the line. Here are some of the most common excuses (and falsehoods) that I hear on a daily basis and how to respond back:

“Condoms don’t really work, so why should we use them?”
When used properly, condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy and greatly lower your chance of contracting sexually transmitted infections.

“We would use a condom, but my boyfriend says he doesn’t fit.”
There are different sizes of condoms.  From snug fit to extra large, every person can find condoms that fit them.  On top of that, there are tons of different types of condoms: fitted, ribbed, studded, flavored and so much more!

“I’m allergic to condoms.”
Then maybe you’re allergic to latex.  And if you are allergic to latex, you can get non-latex condoms.  Even allergies shouldn’t be an excuse.

“We trust each other. Why would we need a condom?”
People can carry sexually transmitted infections without knowing it.  When it comes to your health, would you rather trust words from someone that could possibly give you an STI, or a condom that will put a barrier between that STI and you?

“He says it doesn’t feel as good with a condom.”
You know what else doesn’t feel good? Chlamydia.  Also, when you know you’re protecting yourself from sexually transmitted infections and an unplanned pregnancy, you’re both going to feel more relaxed during sex.

“He says he can just pull out.”
This doesn’t do much if you’re trying to prevent sexually transmitted infections. And pre-cum can still get a woman pregnant.  This is a very hard method to master that takes a lot of self control and trust.  With typical use, there’s a 27% chance you could become pregnant.

All of these myths are just that: myths. Condoms should be used every time you have sex. So, don’t be fooled or coerced by false information. You need to know how to use a condom, what to do when if it breaks, what lubricants work and don’t work, and how to talk about condom usage with your partner.  Learn all of that and more at the condom section of the Planned Parenthood website.

Last week I was cleaning out my medicine cabinet and came across several bottles of pills with one or two or maybe even more pills in them.  All of the bottles were dated and long since expired, and it got me to wondering.  If I have a problem taking all of a prescription, I must not be alone.

In fact, based on a bit of research, missing pills is a pretty common problem.  A common problem with a pretty big implication when it comes to contraception.  According to Unlocking the Contraception Conundrum, 15 to 30% of women forget to take one or more birth control pill in a given month.  And as Shannon Mills points out in her article, Birth Control Compliance,
         “A compliance study involving 103 women was conducted using electronically monitored pill dispensers to test their compliance. The study found that over half of the women missed at least three pills in one cycle. The average number of missed pills per cycle was 2.6. (Potter et al, 1996). When used incorrectly, the failure rate of oral contraceptives increased from 0.3% to 8%. (Reichman, 2006). Another study conducted in teenagers showed that this age group has an even lower 67% compliance rate with oral contraceptives. (Shaw, 2005). ”

Missing birth control pills has BIG implications – increasing the risk of pregnancy from less than 1% to as much as 13%!

So how do you remember to take your pill and take it consistently?

If you’re looking for some help, give Pill Pixy a try.  Pill Pixy is a free text reminder service provided by Planned Parenthood of Central North Carolina that will send a text to your phone every day at a time of your choosing. 

You can sign up by texting pillpixy to 74700.  If you’d like a more subtle reminder.   We can send you reminders to drink water instead, text waterpixy to 74700.

I think that when some people think about safe sex, they think this means boring sex.

NOT TRUE!  When you know that you’re at very low risk of contracting an STI, becoming pregnant, you feel safe and assured with your partner.  When you know that you can stop a sex act when you feel uncomfortable, that makes you feel more relaxed. When you feel comfortable, relaxed, and safe with someone, you can have better sex because you feel respected.

There are two things that you need to have before you have sex.  The first, knowledge about sex; the second, the self respect and confidence to say what kind of sex you want to have, or feel ready to have, with someone.

When you have all of the tools to make educated decisions about your health, you can choose what risks to participate in, and what precautions you need to take. When you respect yourself enough to to say what you want and don’t want during sex, you’re putting yourself first. So ask yourself if you know: how to put on a male and female condom, all the ways sexually transmitted infections are transmitted to another person, how a pregnancy can occur, how a dental dam works, what emergency contraception is used for, etc. If you have a question, go to our website www.plannedparenthood.org or make an appointment. Knowledge is power.

There are countless reasons why comprehensive sex education is necessary for everyone to learn before they engage in sex (that’s another blog post), but self confidence and respect are sometimes the hardest things I see women and girls struggling with.  I’ve said in previous blog posts that in order for women to achieve healthy sexual and reproductive lives, they must communicate with their partners and doctors.  During medical visits, I hear most women talk more about every other person’s expectations of them than they do their own.  Women juggle a multitude of things in their lives: school work, jobs, family obligations, children, friends and partners. Sometime it’s easy to lose yourself in all of this and forget about what’s the most important: you.

I’m not saying that these people and obligations are not important, but in order for women to have happy and healthy lives they must know their boundaries.  And this goes for men too. Your emotional and physical health has to be in shape, before you conquer the other parts of your life successfully.

So before you have sex, you need to know what sex acts you’re comfortable doing with your partner, and how to keep it safe.  Sure, this might change during time, but it needs to be on your time.  You might be comfortable doing a sex act now, that you weren’t in the past and vice versa. Only you know what you’re comfortable with.   Take time to think about what you want, recognize your feelings, and don’t let someone else decide them for you.

We’re birth control experts!  And since October, we’ve been letting the world know that Planned Parenthood makes Birth Control Easy.   We’ve put up posters, sent out emails, posted on the blog, updated facebook, tweeted, worn buttons, passed out bookmarks and NOW, we’re going to give away T-shirts!! 

All this to let folks know that we are the GO TO place for birth control information and supplies.

Have you been paying attention?

Be one of the first three people to correctly answer this True/ False Quiz and we’ll send you a birth control made easy t-shirt, just like this one:

Quiz Questions
1. PPCNC(that’s Planned Parenthood of Central North Carolina) will mail birth control to your address.
2. You can start birth control without a pelvic exam
3. PPCNC has same day and walk-in appointments
4. Unlike most pharmacies, PPCNC will allow you to buy more than one month of pills at a time
5. PPCNC’s Pill Pixy will send you text reminders to take your pill (if you signup)

Put your answers in the comments- which are not published right away- and the first three to get the right answers get lovely T-shirts!!